Monday, June 14, 2010

Sex, Buzz Armstrong and Carl Zeiss

I'm doing some gigs in Ireland at the end of the month (Galway Laughter Lounge on the 30th June, Dublin Laughter Lounge on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd July) so I did this Q & A interview for the Irish magazine HOT PRESS.

1. Biggest turn on?
A well groomed neatly dressed well-spoken old-fashioned respectable gentleman with clean fingernails who treats me like the dirty slut I am.

2. Ever faked an orgasm?
Yes. In conjunction with the American government, the Director of NASA, 40 camera operators and Buzz Armstrong. Sorry, did you say an orgasm? I’m so sorry, I thought you said the Apollo 11 Moon landing.

3. Your first sexual experience?
I was 16 when I lost my virginity. It was at my brothers 21st birthday party. I was drunk and I didn’t enjoy it…but it was cheaper than buying him a present.

4. The most public place you've had sex?
Youtube.

5. Favourite sex toy?
Internal webcam – with high-precision Carl Zeiss optics, auto focus, CMOS image sensor, light-correcting technology, 5x optical zoom, waterproof and ribbed for extra pleasure.

6. Sexiest song?
Alexandre Song, Arsenal and Cameroon midfielder, scored Arsenal’s fourth goal in their 4-1 win over Portsmouth last December.

I also quite like that bit right at the end of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen, when they’ve all stopped and the record’s finished and something else comes on.

7. Sexiest movie?
It’s a toss up between “Schindler’s Fist” and “I Spit On Your Grave” – the ultimate chick flick.
I also quite like watching that film of Richard Hammond from Top Gear crashing his car – that always gets me moist.

(With questions like that who said 'investigative journalism' was dead?)

1 comment:

Susie said...

Hilarious! You navigated those crappy q's like a total pro -- which, uh, makes sense cuz ya are.

Anywho, great job! And enjoy the Ireland tour. Sounds fab.