Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Crave Magazine Interview

The nice people at Crave Magazine ( www.cravewomen.co.uk ) asked me to answer some questions. Don't know when it goes out but it went something like this...


For readers who don't know you, how would you introduce yourself?
What do you mean you don’t know me!!!
Okay, I’m a Stand-Up comedian and have my own Radio 4 comedy show – the critically acclaimed “It’s That Jo Caulfield Again”. I’m often on programmes like “Mock the Week” and “Have I Got News For You”, and I was recently nominated as one of The 100 Greatest Stand-Ups (Channel4).

Big new project?
Have a new Radio 4 series to write (“Jo Caulfield Won’t Shut Up…”) and possibly a tour later in the year.

To be happy in what I’m doing.

Which part of you would you change if you could?
My Liver.

Most proud of?
I think Pride is something to be wary of. If you start to talk about your own achievements you very quickly turn into a wanker, or worse – Kate Winslet at the Golden Globes.

Biggest ever purchase?
It’s a toss up between my flat in North London and a pair of Rock and Republic Jeans. Going by price per square inch they were both ridiculously over-priced.

Coolest possession?
A personally signed photo of Lauren Bacall. (A friend of mine used to be her P.A.) Or the punk group The Ramones in action figures. But not just action figures, they are The Ramones Bears. Seriously, they are plastic bears with Ramones haircuts, leather jackets and guitars. The only detail missing is DeeDee Ramone Bear shooting up.

Last night out?4
days ago in New York. Drank a lot of beer in Woody’s bar on West 14th Street with my friend Ophira.

Last time you cried?
I’m so ashamed to tell you because I think it is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen…. but I cried at the end of Mama Mia.

Biggest disappointment?
To discover that I’m the sort of easily manipulated moron that would cry at the end of Mama Mia.
Also – British Television. Why do we dumb everything down in this country? America has Law and Order and we have The Bill! What was the point of Lilly Allen having a chat show? Why is Sharon Osbourne pretending she shops at Asda and plays online Bingo? Why is Holly Willoughby allowed near a microphone? Who the fuck watches ‘Out Numbered’? Why has Channel 5 they remade Minder??? Why don’t we have anything that is of the same quality as Grey’s Anatomy, 24, West Wing, House, Monk, Sex and the City, Desperate Housewives, Six Feet Under, CSI or Entourage (And I don’t even like Entourage).

Big love?
Driving in Scotland. Cold sunny days and a cosy pub at night. Shopping in New York.

Biggest influence?
I work in a predominantly male business so strong female comics who have a lot of attitude and carved out their own path. Joan Rivers, Rosanne Barr, Kathy Griffin, Janeane Garafalo.

Favourite biscuit?

Are you cool?
I am down with the kids, tru dat, so brush me Daddy-o for shizzle – which means, NO.

What is love?
Being with someone who makes you a better person.

Annoying habit?
Every couple of weeks I start smoking again. I talk over people. And I’m always starting sentences that I never fi…..

Your next big news?
Is enormous.

The World is…?
Very well designed. Whoever did it was a very clever, I’d like to get them to do my bathroom.

Secret passion?
West Highland Terriers and reading the labels of face creams in Department Stores.

Tell us a secret:
I’m allergic to Penicillin….. and I don’t know if that’s how you spell penicillin

What did you do today?
Drove back from visiting my parents. Enough said.

Bedtime routine?
Depends whether I’m drunk or sober. If I’m sober it involves large amounts of anti-aging creams and serums. If I’m drunk, it’s the same, but topped off with half an hour of sobbing.

TV Heaven?
Project Runway, America’s Next Top Model, Come Dine With Me (basically any reality show on Living TV) followed by The Wire.

What attracts you to other women?
My girlfriends all make me laugh.

Favourite body part of your own?
I don’t have any part that bears close scrutiny. I’m like a piece of clothes bought from Primark: it all looks ok from a distance but a couple of nights out and I start to fade and get baggy in the wrong places.

I must give more time to…?
Being selfish.

My best friend is?
Adam. We’ve been friends since I was 14. We were the only New Romantics in a small town. We bonded over a love of Boy George and Cider. He is my favourite person to get drunk with, I can’t ever imagine us not being friends.

Describe your sexuality?
No. You describe it for me.

Last great holiday?
Last September I spent 3 weeks driving down the West Coast, from Seattle to San Francisco. We detoured inland to Portland, Oregon and also through the wine country. Every night we booked into a little seaside motel. The motels are great and only about £40 a night. You couldn’t get a B & B in Skegness for that.I can’t recommend it highly enough if you fancy a road trip. Portland has the best independent book shop I’ve ever seen, Powel’s books. It’s also just a really pretty town – think small Boston/ New York but more lesbians.

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