The Flasher

I have been flashed twice in my life.

The first time was when I was 17 at the Acropolis in Greece, which is odd as there’s already a lot of statues of naked men. Why put yourself up against stiff opposition? (Pardon the pun)

The second time was earlier this year in Scotland.

We were having a small driving holiday and we stopped in Stirling.

There’s a lovely park there called King’s Park and it was a hot sunny day - so my husband, being a Scotsman who can’t sit in the sun for more than 4 minutes without bursting into flames, went off to buy a paper.

Minutes later this man, about 65, came along and started talking to me in the way that people do outside of London. "Where was I from?", "Was I enjoying my holiday in Scotland?", "Had I been to Stirling before?" Then he start to tell me about Stirling Castle – how long it took to build, who had lived there, and how it had been used during the filming of the classic 70’s TV series Colditz.
Now, as a kid I used to watch Colditz, so I found it all very interesting. Then just as he was about to go and had said goodbye, he opened his coat and exposed himself.

But I did still think ..... he was very informative.

Then my husband came back and asked what I wanted to do next?
"Mmmm, well", I said, "while we’re here I’d quite like to go and see the Castle".

So that’s what we did, we went to Stirling Castle and it is very impressive. I would definitely recommend you go visit.

But for me the high-spot was at the main door (portcullis?) there was a women there from the Scottish Tourist Board and she’s going around with a clipboard and asking everyone, “How did you hear about the Castle?”
I thought I can’t miss this opportunity, I’ll have to tell her – “Well funny story about that…” so I told about the man in the park and how he exposed himself.

And she just laughed and said “ Oh, that’ll be George”.

I said, “Did you not hear me say he got his cock out?”

She just laughed again – then her face went blank – then she looked annoyed – and she said, “Did he not also tell you about the Bannockburn heritage site?”

If you ever go there keep a look out for George – he has a blue raincoat and a tartan thermos.